Time has changed. So has perverts. Men, you beware. Next time, while sitting alone in a restaurant or a bar or some eating joint, if a guy comes in and shares the table with you, and if he tries to start a conversation by asking some stupid question, remember, he is not gay. Or standing at a bus stop, if some guy asks you an address of a building right in front of you, he is not gay. Or walking down the road, if some guy approaches you and ask you whether he had seen you in cafeteria at work, he is not gay. True, they want to start a conversation, but still, they are not gay. They are most probably from M-Way and they want you to join their “business”. Yes you read it right, M-Way! You know what I mean? Time has really changed. Now M-Way is called a Business! If you want to know more about M-Way, read on.
Let me first enlighten you about this company. I really admire the founders of this company; they had so carefully chosen the name M-Way. M-Way is short for Moron’s-Way. A Moron’s-Way of doing “business”. Their idea of business is very simple, find as many morons as you can and ask them to find other set morons like them and ask the other set of morons to find some other morons to find other morons, and collectively as a battalion of morons sell the suck-ass products of the company to the left out morons. Also, their products are a creation of a genius in suck-ass category. If you have perfectly white teeth and if you feel something is missing, use their toothpaste, it will give you a plaque you never had and always missed. The ability of getting a bad breath is not included in the cost of the toothpaste, according to them its a value-add feature. If you are too thin or too fat, use their protein powder. It makes thin people fat and fat people thin. What the fuck? But don’t use that powder if you have a perfect body, nobody knows what happens next, not even the company or the genius who invented the super-power powder. I heard they grow an extra pair of legs or in some cases, a tail. I had once written a letter to them asking for a clarification and in response they said “No such cases have been reported as yet. And should the rumors be true, you must know that our genius scientists have already started working on a product which would help you grow an extra pair of hands just so that you don’t feel awkward having four legs and two hands”. Although he didn’t mention anything about the tail, I assume they would come up with some product which would make a monkey out of you. But I totally bought the shit they had mentioned in the response of my letter. I mean, what more could you expect from a company who depends on morons for the revenues? They also have other such products which do exactly opposite from what it is supposed to do in a perfect manner. But please don’t try it at home.
In India, this concept had been launched some 20 years back. But unfortunately it did not click until recently. Not that they couldn’t find enough morons, we have ample supply here, but that’s not the point. When I did the analysis, I figured that their initial strategy was completely wrong. Their initial strategy was to target housewife and grief-stricken-financially-broken morons. But it took them 20 years to figure that when Indian housewives go to sell these products, they end up discussing about their neighbor’s aunt’s sister-in-law’s aunt’s neighbor’s daughter who got only 54 marks in her physics test, rather than actually marketing and lying about the products they had come to sell. It took them 20 years to figure that nobody in this wonderful country would believe a financially broken person coming to them for marketing a so-called “Business plan”.
But finally, they got it all figured out. They decided to leave the housewives and poor on their own and target the educated morons. And it worked! It was perfect bait. Everybody in this country wants to become rich, especially the educated ones. And the concept became an instant hit among the educated morons, they were just happy to do something which was termed, wonderfully by the company jerk-offs, as Business. This battalion of educated morons comes from a wide variety of professions and background - Engineers, Doctors, IT professionals, IIT and IIM grads and so on. But overall they fall under a single category – Losers!
Like I said before, it all starts with some guy, gay or not gay, trying to make a conversation with you. Losers! If you fall prey to them and get involved in a conversation, at the end of it, they’ll ask for your number. Perverts! If you give them your number, they’ll call you after a day or two to tell you that they have been involved in some great business and they would like to share some information with you. Losers! If you agree to listen to them, they would take you to a meeting where you’ll find two sets of morons – the ones which have already fallen prey and others who are about to. Morons! Then they introduce you to the other morons from wide variety of professions and background I mentioned before. Just to make you realize that it’s more important to be a moron in life than to do what you have been doing professionally. Morons! And after all this, they try to convince you that M-Way is actually a business and not a job of a salesman selling some suck-ass product of a suck-ass company. LOSERS!!
But if you are a gay, then join M-Way. Who knows? You might end up getting a date for yourself.
Again, LOSERS!!!!
